International Survivors of Suicide Day 2019 - Franklin, Tennessee
Keep On - Keeping on 101:
Instant awareness of Rebecca being missing invades my mind at family events. Whether Thanksgiving, Christmas, a Birthday, or just the blessing before a meal comes the thought "she is not here." I can be with someone or by myself, and it makes no difference.
Then comes the thought "what would it be like today had she stayed around." I start imagining how she would fit in.
Then comes the involved phase of wonderment. Would we be able to solve the troubling past or not?
We might have, but that chance slipped away, while no one knew. She kept it all under wraps, out of prying eyes and away from those invasive questions. All alone with her thoughts, and now they are left to all for us.
It is these times when sheer determination has to be engaged. Time allows us to recall the rumination cycles that have gone before, oh so many times. It makes no difference if some allotted time elapses or intervening events occur, or you draw from your past experiences, the answer remains etched in stone, unknowable.
In the early years, I had to steel myself to the reality that goals must be attainable, or you will wallow in frustration and unhappiness. There are no other options.
While changing the world is a frivolous thought for me, well, it is for every survivor, changing history is not reality. Changing attitudes and opinions of some is possible but by no means a simple thing to do.
In my experience, it was me that had to change. Next came understanding the difference in changing and influencing someone.
Talks, texts or essays can be contributors, but there is nothing quite so convincing as a visible witness. Witnessing causes me to draw from my growing up years and the models set before me. None of mine were famous, but here decades later, they are to me. Family, friends from the neighborhood, school, military, work, and church fill my list.
As a survivor of Suicide, nothing helped me adjust to the hope of PEACE in this life, like seeing it in the life of another survivor. I had to change my outlook. I had to develop a passion in conjunction with a realistic goal, not some lofty hand-me-down.
I began the change by moderating our Wednesday night survivor support group. Then came spending individual time with survivors, and each had unique circumstances. They came from different races, religions, education levels, employment, and family situations. They all tended to want to drop back and replay their lives with different parameters.
So, my education started, and it has matured over the past two decades, along with getting OLD. I became driven to Keep On, Keeping On because I have watched a few achieve stellar meaningful lives.
Today's visitor traffic to the FindingHopeAfterSuicide.com website has arrived from the US, Ireland, Singapore, Australia, Germany, Canada, United Kingdom, France, China, Russia, Netherlands, South Africa, Sweden, Japan, Finland, Vietnam, Latvia, Cambodia, India, Spain, Taiwan, Romania, Poland, Norway, Indonesia, and Albania
Total of 1,387 visitors. - And it was started to attract folks to our local survivor support group.
That makes all this investment worthwhile. The process keeps me writing.
FHAS-Keep On, Keeping On 101-V06-(G-edited)-02-01-2021