From the window - in Sprang Heel, Tennessee
About Moods and Feelings:
This morning I had a conversation with a fellow in the early stages of grief. His assumption was, "I will never be able to handle this." His son was 47 (just like mine is now.) I was not surprised by his statement because I have felt that way.
Also, this morning, I extracted the following two comments from a survivor Facebook post: "don't seem to get any easier" and "I cannot go on." I had wrestled with for years with feelings like these. I cannot say that anymore. Now, it is much "easier" to handle those feelings. They rise, and they fall with my mood.
In the days (actually years), when I focused on going back to the way things were, it was sad. It was agonizing as a matter of fact.
After lots of interaction with other survivors, a group began investing our efforts in constructing a new life, around the present and the tomorrows, rather than the yesterdays.
One never forgets about yesterdays. That is just unthinkable. I am conscious of the reality that I will not ever go back there except in memories. I spend a considerable time (on occasions) going back to the past via pictures. The way I am now, I am good with that. I come away comforted.
Some of this change, I think most of it comes from encouragement. You can only change you. You cannot change anyone else. While it is essential that we use every opportunity to influence our family and friends, yet they have to decide to alter their own lives, and only they can do that.
Keep On, Keeping On, there is the potential of a new day for all of us. It will appear on the horizon and move slowly like the Sun rising. It is NOT an instant change. I cannot recall anything as being immediate other than the initial shock.
NOTE: I have come to borrow comments as illustrations. Few are new after all these years. I don't ID them, but it is okay if someone wants to lay claim to the three above. I bet a crowd of you could do that.
Do the best you can for yourself this day. blessing, dJ