From the window - in Sprang Heel, Tennessee
About Moods And Feelings:
I just had a conversation with a fellow in the early stages of grief. His assumption was “I will never be able to handle this.” His son was 47 (just like mine.) I was not surprised because I have felt that way.
This morning I extracted the following from a comment "don't seem to get any easier." Not getting easier was a feeling I wrestled with for years. I cannot say that anymore. I look at it getting "easier" like I do feelings. They rise, and they fall with my mood.
In the days (actually years) when I focused on going back to the way things were, it was NOT easier. It was agonizing as a matter of fact.
After a lot of interaction with other survivors, a sector of us began to put our efforts into constructing a new life. Focusing on the now and the tomorrows, rather than the yesterdays.
I never forget about the yesterdays, that is just unthinkable. But I am conscious of the reality that I will not ever go back there except in memories. I spend a considerable time (now and then) going back via pictures of that past. The way I am now, I am good with that. I come away comforted.
Some of this change, I think most of it, comes from encouragement. You can only change you. You cannot change anyone else. It is essential to use every opportunity to influence your family and friends, but they have to decide to construct a new life, and only they can do that.
Keep On, Keeping On there is the potential of a new day for all of us. It will appear on the horizon and move slowly like the Sun. It is NOT an instant change. I cannot recall things as being instant other than shock.
NOTE: I have come to borrow comments as illustrations. Few are new after all these years. I don’t ID them, but it is okay if either one wants to lay claim to the two above. I bet a crowd of you could do that.
Do the best you can for yourself this day. dJ